Baby Boy

I think of the life you have lived. In your two short years. I'm confident this is not the life God chose for you. His plan was not for you to suffer so much. You can walk, but your body is limp. If that makes any sense. I am new at this and learning about what could have possibly happened that made you feel so disconnected from your own body. A newborn infant receives his connection to his body and those around him, first from his mother. The positive touch, being held in her arms, being washed by her hands, being bottle or breast fed while cradled in her arms. This did not happen for you. My throat squeezes at the thought. You are beautiful. And when a smile is coaxed out of you it is priceless! You are so smart. During play time, you will suddenly disconnect and lay/fall down. It's as if you haven't realized yet that you are connected to your body. Thats where early stimulation therapy comes in. The goal is to help you connect. We do this through massage, playing games such as peek-a-boo, giving you lots of cuddles and tickles and love. You have mastered pee-a-boo. When I say your name and put my hands over my eyes you start to giggle, and you copy my movements. Another one of your favorites is pat-a-cake, you especially love the rollll it part. You also smile when I say, I want a kiss from…. and say your name… and come towards you, your smile gets bigger and bigger. I pray you receive the Fathers love. I'm confident God has put people in your life that love you like your mom and dad did not or could not. Our Father is that merciful! You were sitting on my lap, and the baby boy in my stomach started to move, so I told you there is a baby in there, you put your hands on my belly and a smile that i have never seen from you lite up your face. You are beautiful. God is using the baby in me, to show you the miracle of life. Today I asked you where is the baby and you pointed to my stomach. You are so aware and know that is something special, i can tell in the tender way you put your hands on my belly. Anyone that has been around a 2 year old knows that you should be a busy little guy, instead if you were allowed to you would sit in one place for hours. I can't wait for the day you start causing mischief. I am praying this for you life, that you will flourish and be ok, that you will receive and give love and become the little boy God created you to me.

Ode to the children

I came to visit you yesterday. It took a second for you all to realize who I was. Then I heard a shout of MISSSS Holly and you surrounded me in a group hug. You commented on how my hair is now long and always used to be short. I commented on how tall you all were. You commented on my highlights. I commented on how much I missed you all. You asked me why I stopped coming, but in such a heart breaking way, that I could not think of an answer, the way you were looking at me showed me your heart needed an answer. You asked me to start coming again… why did I leave them? Where was I living? Why didn’t I tell you that I would be getting married soon, why didn’t I invite you to my wedding! Will I bring pictures so I can see it at least? You tell me about your younger baby brother, how he is getting so big, and so is the other baby that is at home. You tell me your baby brother is doing well. My buddy you stay off I look up and see you in the corner and beckon to come give me a hug, you won’t, so I leave my circle of little girls and bend down and hug you return the hug and rub my back, I know you remember our moments some very tough as you learned how to be loved and some very sweet. Many of you have your adult teeth, making you look so much older, before I know it you will be teenagers, your almost taller than me! I pray the love we shared touched you; God’s love touched you and is touching you so it can change the outcome of your teenager years. I pray a silent prayer that the role God had for me in your life is not over cuz my heart is busting and I have to blink back tears, I usually don’t let myself think about how much my heart misses you. I tell you I’m going to see the other younger children, your reluctant to let my hand go.

As I round the corner you, perhaps my biggest fan see me… I see you getting out of your chair, I wish I had my camera, you come running like in the movies I stoop to your level so we can hug, the rest of your classmates notice what was going on and again I’m surrounded in a group hug, everyone needing a kiss only this time ½ the height. There are some new children, they hug me to, and everyone is caught up in the excitement. There is something about boys, this time you look at me, shyly; finally you work up the courage to give me a hug. Soon everyone is showing me their new tricks, how you all have learned to jump on one foot, how high you can jump, your poor teacher J you show me your projects hanging on the walls, you hug me some more. You are telling your classmates this is Miss Holly. Most already know, but then you look at me and say your Miss Holly right? I say yes so you go on again announcing this is Miss Holly. I feel a bit like a celebrity. :) The next class hears what’s going on they run to hug me so now it’s a mix of little heads and bigger, I stay with the toddlers a bit longer, hug a bit more. Pop into the other classroom to see their new shoes proudly displayed. I try not to make a big deal that I’m leaving; I know you have to do your school work, so I slip out. The older ones catch me on my way out, saying you want to come with me. Will you see me next year; another says next year is too much time! I want her to come next Wednesday (I hope), I pray God helps me sort everything out, helps me put aside of pride if that is hindering me at all so that I can just love you all.

You are the first group of children in Guatemala that touched my heart. I loved you before I knew you, that is why I chose this path. God blessed me and gave me so much love back from you all, I wasn’t sure who was helping who. You made my first lonely months bearable. We had hard moments, it was a lot of hard work and you had a lot to learn about being in a classroom, about respecting other adults, but you got it. You’re Amazing. I love how you have flourished. God is doing great things in your lives, knowing HE loves you more gives me peace. Because God will keep on loving you with or without me, I’m thankful things are going great; I knew you would be just fine without me, that the care would continue, I wonder am I really fine without you..

La Vina-The Vine

John 15:5 I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Tomorrow it will be the 3rd Saturday since Juan said. Lets go visit this Orphanage of children with HIV.. my love for children being well know I said lets go. 5 of us got in the car and headed out, after a phone call to make sure our visit would be welcome. The home has 52 children, all being treated for HIV, but most of all they are children. The home was very well maintained, super clean and lots of children needing lots of hugs. We stayed there for almost 4 hours I believe. We all got in the the car, and were thinking something along the lines of that was so much fun we should do it more often. Fast forward one week, we chose another orphanage to visit and went.. not all the children were there, some were at another event, so we got to love on the babies as the guys played soccer with some of the boys.. Juan started talking to them, about their love of soccer and he called his sisters boyfriend (who plays soccer, and his family owns some football fields) not sure how it happened, but before we knew it, there is a soccer team! Sponsorship was donated for the registration fees, money was donated to buy the uniforms and the first game was played today and THEY WON!!! I cannot describe the feeling as the first goal was made, something BIG happened on that soccer field, I wish I could bottle that feeling and sell it cuz I'd be rich.. Since I cannot, I'll just invite you to come to a game and cheer them on!! Join us why don't you! The director of the orphanage said this is so important for the children, lots of promises broken in their short lives, so when one is met it speaks volumes.

Rewind a week or so.. We've been talking and thinking we need a name for this project, to give people a name to be familiar with, whether it's a concert, or soccer team, or who knows what's next. Juan and I had talked about La Vina before, and it works, Nyblom's were in town and they love the name (also the name of their church) and they helped sponsor and will in the future, so it made sense on so many levels. We will meet Thursdays, to do a small bible study, share what God is doing, search how we can act, showing love is so important, but we are young, lots on energy so if we can give these children something tangible along with love we shall. Lord willing.

Yogurt Banana Oatmeal whole wheat pancakes=Yum

try these! yum I also used whole wheat flour... (I put everything in the blender and added a banana as well)

OATMEAL YOGURT PANCAKES


1 egg
1 c. plain yogurt
2 tbsp. oil
1/2 c. all-purpose flour
1/2 c. quick-cooking oats
2 tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda

Beat egg, oil and yogurt well. Add remaining ingredients. Pour about 1/4 cup batter on lightly oiled hot griddle. Turn when pancakes are puffy and covered with bubbles. Makes about 10 pancakes.

Volcanos & Agatha

What a last few days. Phew. On Thursday the Pacaya Volcano started to show us what it's all about and covered Guatemala City in Ash, killing one reporter with several children still missing. 1000's are in shelters.. The Saturday morning we were greeted with a little surprise of Agatha, a tropical storm, which is excepted to bring 30 inches of rain to some areas.. Pray... the risk of landslides is great.. rivers flooding.. it's not like a rain storm in the states where you can be sure your home will stand firm, the majority of people don't have that confidence, as they live in very poorly build homes, stacked onto muddy hillsides.. Father turn this nation to you..

oh how HE loves us :)

As the seasons of life change.. none better than the other, some more difficult, but in all seasons God is teaching us. Showing us HIS plan and HIS desires for our moments. So that none are wasted, but all used to HIS glory and honor. I have been surrendering my heart more and more to my LORD, my desire is that is it HE I receive all things from. That I never put a human in that place. That it is HIM I need. And as this has been my prayer for my life recently and especially last night. This morning when I got to the center and the one of the staff arrived she had a rose for me, and in that moment I knew that it was straight from my Daddy in heaven. To receive directly from HIS hand is such a beautiful thing. HE is there, arms wide open.. Lets let him be our comfort, be the wind in our sails.. JESUS.

cleaning...

Today is going to include lots of cleaning. We are doing our spring cleaning before Holy Week break so we can have all of next week off! :)

Yesterday was another hectic day, our nanny has to leave at 3 all this week, leaving me in charge of the babies in the afternoon, along with helping clean, getting the afternoon snack served etc. We do have 3 volunteers that are coming once a week, so that's fantastic. Our enrollment is going to be increasing by 10 and God is blessing us with more volunteers and continues to meet each and every need of these children! One of the girls wants to bring a cake monthly for the birthdays of that month, such a blessing! speaking of cleaning, it's not getting done with me on here :)