I came to visit you yesterday. It took a second for you all to realize who I was. Then I heard a shout of MISSSS Holly and you surrounded me in a group hug. You commented on how my hair is now long and always used to be short. I commented on how tall you all were. You commented on my highlights. I commented on how much I missed you all. You asked me why I stopped coming, but in such a heart breaking way, that I could not think of an answer, the way you were looking at me showed me your heart needed an answer. You asked me to start coming again… why did I leave them? Where was I living? Why didn’t I tell you that I would be getting married soon, why didn’t I invite you to my wedding! Will I bring pictures so I can see it at least? You tell me about your younger baby brother, how he is getting so big, and so is the other baby that is at home. You tell me your baby brother is doing well. My buddy you stay off I look up and see you in the corner and beckon to come give me a hug, you won’t, so I leave my circle of little girls and bend down and hug you return the hug and rub my back, I know you remember our moments some very tough as you learned how to be loved and some very sweet. Many of you have your adult teeth, making you look so much older, before I know it you will be teenagers, your almost taller than me! I pray the love we shared touched you; God’s love touched you and is touching you so it can change the outcome of your teenager years. I pray a silent prayer that the role God had for me in your life is not over cuz my heart is busting and I have to blink back tears, I usually don’t let myself think about how much my heart misses you. I tell you I’m going to see the other younger children, your reluctant to let my hand go.
As I round the corner you, perhaps my biggest fan see me… I see you getting out of your chair, I wish I had my camera, you come running like in the movies I stoop to your level so we can hug, the rest of your classmates notice what was going on and again I’m surrounded in a group hug, everyone needing a kiss only this time ½ the height. There are some new children, they hug me to, and everyone is caught up in the excitement. There is something about boys, this time you look at me, shyly; finally you work up the courage to give me a hug. Soon everyone is showing me their new tricks, how you all have learned to jump on one foot, how high you can jump, your poor teacher J you show me your projects hanging on the walls, you hug me some more. You are telling your classmates this is Miss Holly. Most already know, but then you look at me and say your Miss Holly right? I say yes so you go on again announcing this is Miss Holly. I feel a bit like a celebrity. :) The next class hears what’s going on they run to hug me so now it’s a mix of little heads and bigger, I stay with the toddlers a bit longer, hug a bit more. Pop into the other classroom to see their new shoes proudly displayed. I try not to make a big deal that I’m leaving; I know you have to do your school work, so I slip out. The older ones catch me on my way out, saying you want to come with me. Will you see me next year; another says next year is too much time! I want her to come next Wednesday (I hope), I pray God helps me sort everything out, helps me put aside of pride if that is hindering me at all so that I can just love you all.
You are the first group of children in Guatemala that touched my heart. I loved you before I knew you, that is why I chose this path. God blessed me and gave me so much love back from you all, I wasn’t sure who was helping who. You made my first lonely months bearable. We had hard moments, it was a lot of hard work and you had a lot to learn about being in a classroom, about respecting other adults, but you got it. You’re Amazing. I love how you have flourished. God is doing great things in your lives, knowing HE loves you more gives me peace. Because God will keep on loving you with or without me, I’m thankful things are going great; I knew you would be just fine without me, that the care would continue, I wonder am I really fine without you..
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